Anyone who’s lost a dog can tell you how painful it is. They are a cherished member of the family and the grief they feel is normal. If you’ve known someone who’s lost a service dog, you may have seen them experience an even greater amount of grief. Research has suggested this is not simply due to attachment but also to the caregiving role of the dog.
Attach Hum Dev. 2011 Sep;13(5):421-36. doi: 10.1080/14616734.2011.584410.
“Not just a dog”: an attachment perspective on relationships with assistance dogs.
Kwong MJ, Bartholomew K.
Source: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, BC, Canada.Abstract: We explored individuals’ relationships with an assistance dog from an attachment-theory perspective. We used both inductive and deductive thematic methods to analyze semi-structured interviews with 25 participants who had lost an assistance dog to retirement or death. Analyses revealed attachment processes of safe haven, secure base, and separation anxiety. Although attachment dynamics were an important feature of these relationships, caregiving was equally important. When confronted with the loss of their dog, almost all participants experienced intense grief. Most grief responses were consistent with the loss of a caregiving relationship. Findings suggest that grief is a natural response to the loss of a beloved companion who fulfilled fundamental needs for attachment and caregiving.
PMID: 21838644 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE] View full text
My first service dog died about 15 months ago. I was intensely sad for about six months and even now, I still have periods where I’ll cry over his loss. I’ve lost a number of animals over my life and even though I loved each one of them, the grief I felt over losing him didn’t compare to the others.
Has anyone else lost a service dog, either through retirement or death? Please feel free to share your experiences.
6 Comments
I’m sorry you lost your service dog. I’ve known my guide dog Dee was going to retire since last May, but it was still awful when it actually came time to do it. She came with me on short trips, but 90% of the time, I walked by myself. I missed having her with me all the time, especially helping with balance and helping me have confidence when traveling. But she was still at home. Last month, I flew her to Oregon to live with her puppy raisers. The sadness was intense; I cried for a couple hours on the flight there and for awhile after I left. I still cry sometimes, but it is not as intense as it was. I’ve retired two dogs before Dee, and each time, I remember how hard it was.
Hi Martha,
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I’m so sorry it was time for Dee to retire. I can’t even imagine what that plane ride must have been like. Do you keep in touch with them now or is it still too painful?
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Rebecca
I lost my service dog, Bandit, on Feb 10, 2012 from Lyme Disease and a co-infection, possibly Bartonella. It was the absolute worst day of my life. He was almost 14 years old and had been retired for about 3 years. Still, he continued to “work” at home, especially as an emotional support for me. When doctors asked if I was depressed due to my disability, I would always tell them “No, Bandit is both my anti-depressant and my anti-anxiety med”. He was my mood stabilizer.
Our bond was beyond words, I can feel it but not describe it. When he was with me I felt complete, safe, nurtured, understood, deeply loved and appreciated.
Mostly I miss he waking me in the early mornings. I never needed an alarm clock. He would gently touch whatever body part he could reach and if that didn’t work he would flap his ears, and as a last resort he would go huffing and puffing around the the 3 sides of the bed which were accessible to him and rub against them shaking the bed. When I pulled the cover from over my head to look at him he would stop right where he was, and give me his cutest “peek-a-boo tan eyebrows on a black face” look over the top of the bed. His eyes would be dancing with mischief,love and adventure to start a new day–and breakfast! I can’t bear for the alarm clock to go off now as it is a shocking wake-up reminder that he no longer with me. I have my aunt call me now at 5:30 in the morning just so I don’t have to hear the alarm clock.
My heart is broke and half my soul left with my Bandit.
Dianne Broussard
still waiting for Bandit’s return
Hi Dianne,
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart broke reading your comment. I promise that time will help with the pain as well as sharing your sorrow with family, friends and/or a support group. I hope you will treat yourself with extra kindness and gentleness while you are going through this process.
Should you need it, Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine offers pet loss support via phone (1-866-266-8635 or 1-509-335-5704) or email (plhl@vetmed.wsu.edu). The phones are staffed Monday-Thursday, 7p-9p and Saturday 1p-3p PT during each semester. You may also leave a message via phone of e-mail 24 hours a day. Between semesters and during holidays, phone and email messages are checked once per day Monday-Thursday and Saturday. All messages are returned as soon as possible. For more information, see . I have used them myself. They have wonderful handouts that offer practical advice on grieving (human and animal) and they offer emotional support.
Take care,
Rebeccs
“Not just a dog”: an attachment perspective on relationships with assistance dogs.
Kwong MJ, Bartholomew K.
Source: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, BC, Canada.
HOW DO I GET A COPY OF THE ABOVE DOCUMENT ?
Hi Dianne,
If you click on the View full text link above, it will lead you to a page where you can purchase the article. Prices are set by Taylor & Francis, who publish the journal Attachment & Human Development.
Rebecca